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Friday, June 28, 2002
i understand. its not in my hands anymore... so i give it to you God. i'm ok with it. i'm finally at peace. :) xxx Thursday, June 27, 2002 somtimes i feel... sometimes i feel too much... sometimes i wish i was just a manly man... oblivious to other people's feelings... and only in-tune with sports, women, and meat. i wouldn't be sensitive... i wouldn't give guys hugs... i wouldn't eat vegetables... but all that is besides the point. why do i read into things so much? sometimes its a good thing, but more often than not i'm just setting myself up to be retarded... i suppose that is just who i am. xxx Wednesday, June 26, 2002 i took linda to out last night. our first date was basically when i accompanied her to her senior prom, and il fornaio is where we had dinner. "we're not eating there are we?!" she asked. i just smiled and nodded. :) dinner was great! we sat by a fireplace... dined on fabulous food... and reminisced about that illustrious prom night. :D afterwards we drove down to manhattan beach... took a short stroll... sat near the shore... cuddled for warmth... listening to the waves crash and become silent. words cannot describe... how in that moment... i was sure... sure of what i don't know... but sure. sure of myself, where i was, who i was with... love is a wonderful, resplendent thing... sidenote: albert mu i'm proud of you! *thumbs up* xxx Tuesday, June 25, 2002 Happy Six Months Linda!! :D it has been half a year....six months... 26 weeks... 182 days... 4368 hours... 262080 minutes since linda and i have been together. haha... sorry that was a little redundant! xP that's a crazy long time if you think about it! but it has been oh-so-full of blessings, laughter, joy, and warm fuzzies. not only those things... but also trials and tribulations, arguments, trying to understanding what the other person is going through/coming from, and communicating and working through problems. yet through it all... we are here... still together... still in love... six months later. :) and we are here all because of God's constant grace and mercy on our lives. without Him... we would be like any other couple in this world... in it for ourselves, for immediate pleasure, having our sole purpose in each other rather than in Him. yes, even so, we need to focus on Him even more! all glory and honor to Him! linda... you are so important to me. more than you'll ever know. your warm smiles give me a sense of comfort, familiarity, and security. your touch unsettles my soul and reminds me that i am alive. your hugs enrapture me and take me to that "place" - where nothing else matters, as long as i have you in my arms. you are the sand between my toes... you are the wind beneath my wings... you... are the love of my life. i love you xxx Saturday, June 22, 2002 magic mountain. fun-dalicious, tired. claimjumpers. full. tomorrow. fly home. sleep. xxx Friday, June 21, 2002 new linkydink! yodabruin's homepage! yaaaay. sorry it took me so long tai-man! :D xxx yesterday was a decent day of work and play. :) after seeing albert in san diego, we decided we should get together since we're now both in L.A.! so last night we had dinner together... zankou's chicken baybee! if you come and visit... be sure to have me take you there. as el coti's is to san diego, as in-n-out is to california, as miyake's is to palo alto... zankou's chicken is to L.A.! its so yummy... mmmmmmmm. haha - anyways... we had a good time chatting, catching up, encouraging each other. hey man! being able to meet/hangout with a brother is one of the best things in the christian walk! :D whoo hoo! its raining, but i have a car to drive to work now! whoo hoo! i'm going to magic mountain today! whoo hoo! i'm back riding a bike again! whoo hoo! i like saying whoo hoo! whoo hoo! xxx Wednesday, June 19, 2002 [crotch rocket] haven't ridden my baby yet. :( the previous owner didn't tell me he had a personalized license plate, so now i hafta go back (meaning... i already went once *grr* =\) to the DMV... again! purchased a new helmet on monday, gonna go pick it up today. i have a big ol fender on the bike, so i'm looking to chop that off, as well as install some frame sliders (these protect the body work if i were to drop the bike!). both scabs on my knees have finally come off... yay! i saved one of them, the huge one on my right knee... but iono where it went. Dx [cashmoney*blingbling*] my motorcycle accident has turned out to be a blessing. :D since i got a good deal on my bike, i have some left over money - which i used to pay off a credit card bill. it has been tough adjusting, financially, since moving down here and supporting myself. the bills seem to never end, and i simply live from paycheck to paycheck. so praise God! now i have a little breathing room... and a little extra money to help family out and put into savings. i was talking to my sister on the phone a little while back, and telling her about this problem. "welcome to the real world!" - was her response. :) but she also told me her own experience of God's faithfulness in providing for her family, provided she was faithful in offering what was due to Him. whenever jonathan got paid, if she immediately wrote a check out and offered it the next sunday... she would have no problem paying all her bills at the end of the month. if she simply wrote a check... and kind of left it in her wallet... waiting to see if she'd have enough for her bills, she struggled to make ends meet. she also mentioned my parents in our conversation. my parents give a lot of offering. maybe almost 20-25% of what my dad makes. from any outer perspective, that might be questionable/crazy... but if you look at what they have - materially, spiritually, emotionally - their lives are so incredibly rich! so it is a reminder to me, and hopefully to you... to be faithful and diligent with what God has given you... that if you obey and put God first, He will richly bless you with more than you'll ever know! :D xxx Monday, June 17, 2002 ooooh...it's summer! yay! happy end-of-school-for-now to all those who finished strong (i love finals!) congrats to all those who graduated (: i had an oh-so-fabulous time moving out of my dorm room. i really dont know how so much stuff can fit into one room. i dont even remember owning half the things i moved out haha *shrug* but alls goot. after about a million trips out...i finally got everything, and now im moving in with my sister, swampthing! sooooo... now that its summer, heres the question: what now? uh...*blank stare* ::blink blink:: for all those who care ;) i'm takin summer school! yay! more school...(see! i love it sooo much) actually..should be cool no? its a painting class...i think i like painting =\ *shrug* anywhos...anyone want a peekcha? ill paint you one! :D joshywah and i were thinking the other day of stuff we wanted to do over the summer...any grand ideas? things outta the ordinary? exciting, body-rushing, stomach-pushing, thrilling, hair-raising, brain-pulling awesome ideas? what is there to do out here in LA anyways? i obviously dont get out much (: i think i need to learn my freeways...starting with san diego freeways then LA, then the rest of the united states :D ...cooking, sign language, pottery, painting, skydiving!, play basketball til the break of dawn, become a beach bum, uh...sleep! hah! what is everyone else doing for the summer? that is....if you arent one of those..what do you call them? working people (like joshywah, bwahaha!) ps. yes...im taking over josh's webpage ;) xxx Saturday, June 15, 2002 [slacker] this past week was slack-off week at work. maybe its the gradual warming weather... or the kiddies getting out of school, filling up the streets and playing ball til the sun goes down. maybe i'm bored of work and want to find a new job. maybe its my mind remembering summer's of the past... freedom, stress-free, fun in the sun. maybe the bleach from my hair got to my brain... who knows! *shrug* it was very pleasant. [vroomvroom] on top of that... i finally received my insurance money and bought myself another schweet bike. still stickin' with the 6... but a year newer... a 2000 one. its a little different... black rims instead of the aluminum, and different body decal. got a schweet deal on it... 5160 miles for $6000 flat. my life is complete once again!... *sighs with contentment* :D [sweaty-moving] yesterday and into this morning, i helped linda move out of her dorm room. it took a long time... but we finally got it all done. i kinda like moving. which is weird considering i hated it every single time we moved when i was a kid. and i so hated helping my parents move from our old house to their current one. there's something about moving - just realizing all the things you own... realizing all the material goods you have but don't necessarily need... leaving a place that once defined you or your life, to go to a new one that is to do the same. (: [chaos] right now i'm currently at the chao residence. i want to be here, but then again i don't. i want to be here so that i can get to know linda's parents better. i want them to know me... rather than what they "think" they know of me - from who they hear i am, who they perceive me to be. yet at the same time i don't want to be here. mrs. chao doesn't like my blond hair, i ran over and almost killed one of their dogs, and i locked mr. chao out of the house by accident. =\ plus... the whole dynamic is different when you can't communicate with the parents in their native language. i do real well with chinese parents. i "kiss-up" to them... in a way... a good way of course... by speaking their language, asking them questions, being the nice, polite, chinese speaking boy that i am. xD with linda's parents its different. them speaking cambodian and very little english. i guess God is challenging me in this way. *sigh* [tea station] went for some boba with lin. "we're probably gonna see someone we know here." just as we're leaving... we see mike lum, shirley, and sung. it was quite a surprise. then all of a sudden dave, jimmy, and phil showed up. it was good seeing jimmy again. really good. i've missed that guy. he seemed to be doing well... hope to hang with him some more tomorrow at revelle graduation. ta ta for now ~ xxx Monday, June 10, 2002
yep, thas me! how YOU doin'?! xxx "give me a spirit of thankfulness, Lord,
xxx i had one of the greatest weekends in a long while! friday night went to GOC... had a great time of corporate prayer and worship with the brothers and sisters. saturday swan invited linda and i over to her place for lunch... the weather was perfect... the sun was out... and the food was scrumptious. sunday visited a new church - first evangelical church of glendale. the size of the english congregation was harvest-like small, worship was passionate and well-led, and service was upbeat, constantly moving, and definitely spirit filled. will definitely be praying to see if this is where God wants us. worked out in the afternoon... took a nap... then saw episode 2 with lin. everyone said ep. 2 had cheesy lines... but i didn't think they were that bad. natalie portman (my ex-wife) was dang sheckshee... i still don't know why i divorced that hot woman. :D i live for the weekends. yep. now i'm at work... tired. boo. oh! but i did dye my hair. linda's new nickname for me is "blondie" - guess what color it is! :D will post pictures soon. xxx Thursday, June 06, 2002 "...work out your own salvation... for it is God who works in you... " - Philippians 2:12-13 i lied. hehe :D something i read from oswald chambers today: "Your will agrees with God, but in your flesh there is a nature that renders you powerless to do what you know you ought to do. When the Lord initially comes in contact with our conscience, the first thing our conscience does is awaken our will, and our will always agrees with God. Yet you say, "But I don’t know if my will is in agreement with God." Look to Jesus and you will find that your will and your conscience are in agreement with Him every time. What causes you to say "I will not obey" is something less deep and penetrating than your will. It is perversity or stubbornness, and they are never in agreement with God. The most profound thing in a person is his will, not sin.
The will is the essential element in God’s creation of human beings— sin is a perverse nature which entered into people. In someone who has been born again, the source of the will is Almighty God. ". . . for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure." With focused attention and great care, you have to "work out" what God "works in" you—not work to accomplish or earn "your own salvation," but work it out so you will exhibit the evidence of a life based with determined, unshakable faith on the complete and perfect redemption of the Lord. As you do this, you do not bring an opposing will up against God’s will—God’s will is your will. Your natural choices will be in accordance with God’s will, and living this life will be as natural as breathing. Stubbornness is an unintelligent barrier, refusing enlightenment and blocking its flow. The only thing to do with this barrier of stubbornness is to blow it up with "dynamite," and the "dynamite" is obedience to the Holy Spirit.
Do I believe that Almighty God is the Source of my will? God not only expects me to do His will, but He is in me to do it." xxx wow! i've had an entry almost everyday this entire past week! *gasp* i'm not blogging today... xxx Tuesday, June 04, 2002
what a dinner... WHAT a dinner. :) first time cooking since i've moved down. rice, steak, and green beans! :D mmm yummy! i want talk about rap music today. more specifically rap music that is played on the airwaves. now... it is generally known that rap music is filled with many cuss words ranging from @#!!^)(% to %(*&#&^... i'm sure you get the picture. haha xD anyways... i was driving home from westwood after a nice workout at wooden (its been a while)... and the radio was on. the beats were jumpin'... the bass a-pumpin'.. and suddenly i came to this realization - i know exactly what words are being said, yet i still enjoy the beat and music nonetheless. this immediately reminded me of one song by fabolous - you can't deny it. now i liked this song a lot when it first came out. cuz hey... you just can't deny it! (: anyways... after hearing it on station after station, day after day, the next logical step was to download it off of good 'ol trusty audiogalaxy. somehow when listening to the "radio version" i had no problem with the song... yet the original, resplendent with f'in this and f'in that - i was appalled. i dared not to play it in the house. after harboring it from the parental's ears for a day... it went bye bye and into the trash bin. i even remember hearing it once with julie chen in the car, and we were rappin' along... silenced cuss words and all... "you can't deny it, i'm a *silence* rider, you don't want to *silence* with me"... and we were having fun! so basically rap can do without all the cuss words! ya heard?! :D i just have one more thing to say... there's nothing like driving, windows down, pumpin' out silenced-out-cuss-word-rap! its the "heezy fo' sheezy, you can find me up in one-tweezy..." :P xxx Monday, June 03, 2002 mood for the day: the inquiring mind... do you ever wonder about why you do the things you do? why is everything realized in such clarity only in retrospect? why cant we be smart enough to realize in that moment what we should be doing and what we shouldnt be doing? why is it that the littlest things can seem like the most important thing in the world when we're face to face with it? why do we overvalue the things we dont have and undervalue the things we do have? how is it that i am worthy of so little, yet receive so much? where does love come from? how can it be the reason for your greatest joy but also your greatest misery? when was the last time you told your parents you loved them? when was the last time you talked to your parents? why is it so difficult to admit defeat? why am i so selfish at times? how do i sacrifice and give up my self-interest? why cant our priorities straighten themselves out? how do things of this world find their way to the top of the priority list sometimes? why is God so good to us?... xxx Sunday, June 02, 2002 "all of you / is more than enough for / all of me / for every thirst and / every need / you satisfy me / with your love... and all i have in you / is more than enough" slept in late. tai-man's unicamp picnic - good food, music, football, camp names... afrothunder! kneetoad! blaze! oikos - spirit-filled worship, unity, body of Christ. lakers/kings game - stupid lakers! *grr* >:-( nap. today i realized how sinful i am. how human i am. how weak i am and easily tempted by my human desires. i feel like paul in romans 7:18-19. "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing." i did not even feel worthy being in His church... His holy sanctuary. God, why are you so loving? so merciful and freely giving of Your grace? i need so much more of you! i need to set my mind on things above, instead of on things on this earth that so easily pass away. Lord please help me... work your spirit in me. grow me Lord! grow me in you... i desire it so badly. you, and only you alone should be "more than enough... for all of me". xxx Saturday, June 01, 2002 spent a pleasant day with people i normally don't spend time with. duc came by in the morning. he spent a week at home in san diego... so he dropped by to visit van and i en route to driving back up to santa rosa, where he works and makes bank at agilent. :D we picked up a couple of gigantic breakfast burritos and downed them while viewing 'transformers'. i was in awe... haven't watched that since i was a tike! *wah wah wah <-- transforming sound* hehe :p dan was about to do his weekly saturday runs to newsong church - delivering the bulletins he prints for them... and he asked me along for the ride. we talked a lot... about finances, girlfriends, his work, about how he started saving up and budgeting and building credit. i thought it was nice... especially considering it was pretty much the 2nd most time i've spent with him. =\ we got some praise and worship goin' too... awww yeah! (: then we swung by his parent's place and had lunch with them. it was a lee bit odd to me... i expected them to much older... like my parent's age. *shrug* we got to talking his printing business as well... and how he wants to expand. he would need help if he did... and he asked me to help. we also got around to talking about my webpage... and how he would want to put something up for his printing business. and he'd pay me to make it. so we're both giddy and excited about this new possible business venture. :D mkay! gotta jet! pickin' up leeeenda at the airport! yay! *estatic* xxx |
 name: joshua chiu age: 28 birthdate: march 26, 1979 height: 6 feet weight: 172.5 lbs. location: san diego, ca loves: God, family, kids, motorcycles, sports, music, deep-meaningful relationships, competition over video games, food - any and all |
