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Thursday, November 25, 2004
damn! didn't know pizza port has $.25 mozzarella sticks and chicken wings on wednesdays! last night was definitely good times. well its off to fresno and LA for thanksgiving. happy turkey day everyone! xxx Wednesday, November 17, 2004 i lied. that wasn't a very long "goodbye for a while". i just have so much stuff going on in my head, in my life, that i need an outlet. i have no one to tell, so i'll tell the whole world web and whoever the hell reads this thing. i passed out yesterday. teeth-planted into the stairway metal railing. bump on my forehead. bruised left shoulder. bruised right knee. two front teeth chipped and bashed in. deep gash on the lower lip due to my teeth biting into it. got my lip stitched up last night in the ER. today, $1175 later - i have my teeth bonded and fixed, and i have braces to pull my two front teeth back. i feel like a prepubescent high schooler again. yipee. these past two days i realized something. i realized that life is full of choices. i've made a choice that i will probably forever regret. but that was MY choice. i have no one else to blame but me. and i will live with it. you know that adage "we don't choose who we love"? i agree with it to some extent, but this is my new take on it. we don't choose how we feel... but we definitely choose who we love. i don't intend for anyone to agree or disagree with me. its just me. i didn't feel like eating yesterday. i know i should've eaten. but i didn't make a choice to do so. by not eating, sitting for a long time, then getting up was probably why i passed out. who do i have to blame? me. shit happens. and a lot of that is dictated by the choices that we make. life definitely isn't the best for me right now... but i long and yearn and hope so badly for life to offer me more choices down the line. choices... that i will cherish and carefully consider. until then... i can only choose to breathe in... and breathe out. life is hard, but it's been a little harder than usual lately i wish i knew why i am struggling through this what makes it harder is the lack of understanding on my part could i have changed this, why am i fighting life so hard? how long can i survive this, i'm losing the strength to try tell me, how am i supposed to live through this how do we get by? chorus: we take one breath, let it out, we take another and maybe somehow, everything will work out to be just fine, we take life five minutes at a time one breath, let it out, we take another and maybe somehow, everything will work out to be just fine, we take life five minutes at a time, yeah life is hard, it didn't turn out like i hoped it would be and i don't dare to dream, if dreaming leads to this cause what it's left to me, it's hard to see past the sky becoming dark if it makes no difference, why am i tring to do my part? bridge: i climb back from that fall again, it feels like a hundred times how do i believe in a hundred and one, when we stumble to ninety-nine chorus to go on living, when all you've lived for is gone to find faith when everything you know about life might be wrong to find hope in the dark, to still believe there's a dawn this is the courage to make a life, it is the strength to go on.. chorus - plus one, "one breath"      
my smile won't be the same. in more ways than one... xxx Monday, November 15, 2004 Longview If You Asked Hear you talk so loud and clear Can't help feeling something's near Though you've not said much You said it all Been four weeks it starts to show Last in line for you I know Though you've not said much You said it all But I'd stay for you I'd go right through I'd be here close When you need it most I'd be around If you felt down I'd bring you flowers Sit and talk for hours Finish up and dry my face I'm shining like a new penny I'll never light your eyes up like they should But I'd stay for you I'd help you through Though your not mine Already knew I'd cheer you up If you felt down I'd make you smile I'd be around I'd stay for you I'd go right through I'd be here close When you need it most I'd be your type Whatever you like I'd bring you flowers Sit and talk for hours I'd cheer you up If you felt down I'd make you smile When you came around goodbye for a while. xxx Tuesday, November 09, 2004 would you want to love someone and not have them love you in return? or would you want to just never have loved that person? questions that my heart can never seem to answer... xxx Thursday, November 04, 2004 new toy.   xxx Tuesday, November 02, 2004 so caleb and i started this 12-day workout program 4 months ago. we started during the summer, july 14th, and i've gone through the workout 6 cycles now, today being november 2nd. i know i've mentioned this to some people, but lets just let the pictures do the talking! all of this was a result of watching what i ate, being disciplined in getting up and hitting the gym in the mornings, and basically going balls out. so for all you skinny asian guys out there, the answer to your question is, yes - you can build mass, IF you work hard at it. caleb took these pictures for me. we were posing in front of the mirror... both with our shirts off, me in my underwear... when his friend walked by the room. his friend just started cracking up. yes - it was a hella gay situation. hahaha (: before:    
after:           xxx i voted today. the following is a good article. read it before you go vote. source: http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/pdupont/?id=110005810 A Man of Conviction Why Bush will win. BY PETE DU PONT Wednesday, October 27, 2004 12:01 a.m. EDT A week ago John Kerry climbed into this year's equivalent of Michael Dukakis's tank--a crisply pressed, fully tailored haute couture hunting suit, capped by an Armani-looking chapeau. The visual impact was Boston-effete and no doubt the last straw for every bluejeaned, layered-jacketed and baseball-capped hunter the Kerry campaign sought to persuade. It was the symbolic climax of the Kerry campaign. Next Tuesday--barring some substantial, unexpected event--George W. Bush is likely to be re-elected. President Bush is not going to win because of Mr. Kerry's style or Boston blue blood, as out of sync with most Americans as they may be. He is going to win because he believes in things, while Mr. Kerry is a candidate of concern, consensus and compromise. Mr. Bush believes in the "transformational power of liberty"; that "freedom is on the march"; that the spirit of liberty that created America in 1776 has brought freedom and opportunity to Afghanistan and will bring it to Iraq and every other nation that grasps its principles. It is a powerful message that Americans understand. Mr. Kerry believes we are imposing democracy on people, instead of which we must bring everyone together in international forums where America's decisions must pass a "global test." As the New York Times noted, Mr. Kerry "sees himself as an ambassador president," intending his first act in office to be a speech to the United Nations to recast American foreign policy. Mr. Bush believes free nations should have the right to make their own decisions about trading with America; he has negotiated trade agreements with 12 countries and is working on 10 more. Mr. Kerry is against free trade because he believes America must "establish core labor rights around the world." He would repeal Nafta and other trade agreements until he decides what the wages and working conditions of the citizens of Chile, Mozambique and other nations must be. Mr. Bush believes in an ownership society in which individuals have the resources to improve their lives, owning their own health-care and retirement accounts. Mr. Kerry is against such individual ownership, believing a wise and benevolent government should have the tax revenues to make the decisions it believes are best for you. People understand that believing in principles and values is an important leadership quality. Last week's Wall Street Journal poll showed 57% of voters thought Mr. Bush believed in things and "stood up for his beliefs"; only 19% said the same of Mr. Kerry. The Washington Post reports that 65% of voters supporting Mr. Bush are "very enthusiastic" about him, while only 42% of Kerry supporters felt similarly about him. That's a 23% difference in excitement, which compares with a negligible excitement difference in 2000 between Mr. Bush and Al Gore. These emotions are being felt in the black community too; polls suggest that Mr. Bush will receive about 18% of the black vote, twice as much as in 2000. One historical analogy might be the two British prime ministers at the outset of World War II: Neville Chamberlain and Winston Churchill. Chamberlain advocated a policy of appeasement, giving Hitler the benefit of the doubt, and returned from Munich waving an agreement and declaring "peace for our time" had been achieved. Churchill perceived the evil and threat of Nazi Germany, opposed appeasement, and led England to the military strength and action needed to save his country. The presidential analogies would be Harry Truman and Woodrow Wilson. Truman dropped the atomic bomb to end World War II, gave aid to Greece and Turkey to stop the expansion of communism, established the Marshall plan to rebuild Europe, launched an enormous airlift to keep Berlin free, and had a sign on his desk saying "The Buck Stops Here." Truman was a strong man; like Bush, he believed in things. Mr. Kerry, on the other hand, thought "communism was not a threat to our country," probably would not have used the atomic bomb without international approval, and would likely have thought the Berlin airlift too threatening to the Soviet Union. He is more like Woodrow Wilson, who after the Germans sank the Lusitania, killing 128 Americans, did not respond, saying he was "too proud to fight." He committed U.S. troops to World War I, but through his 14 Point Plan and League of Nations proposal sought "peace without victory." And of course Wilson imposed America's first income tax after the ratification of the 16th Amendment. The Kerry analogies abound. President Bush is likely to be re-elected because the American people believe this presidential election is the most important one in memory. A USA Today/Gallup poll revealed that 72% of respondents think it is, compared with 47% who thought so in 2000 and 41% in 1996. Much of that feeling is based on the insecurity created by 9/11, and it is shifting the voting patterns. The veterans' and married women's vote will be stronger for Mr. Bush than they were four years ago. Both perceive, as many Americans do, that a victory for Mr. Kerry would be a signal to terrorists everywhere that America does not have the resolve to defend itself. The largest unknown in next Tuesday's election is the enormous number of newly registered voters. Democrats believe they have been mobilized by anti-Bush feelings; if so, Mr. Kerry will win. But it seems more likely that new voters will feel like the rest of us: that America's security and resolve are at stake in a turning-point election, and this is no time to weaken either one. Mr. du Pont, a former governor of Delaware, is policy chairman of the Dallas-based National Center for Policy Analysis. His column appears once a month. xxx hahahahaha. this conversation just unfolded between my roommate jeff and i: yellowsmurf19 (12:29:06 AM): gnite mid97west (12:29:09 AM): g'night mid97west (12:29:11 AM): *muah* mid97west (12:29:13 AM): hahaha yellowsmurf19 (12:29:16 AM): *blushes* xxx Monday, November 01, 2004 today was a decent day. had good sleep in my bed. got a lot accomplished at work. sun sets way early now. went to rimac. worked out like a maniac. ran like the wind. had dinner with diane. i've missed her. good talk about current going-ons in our lives. wondered why we feel comfortable saying certain things to certain people, but not others. my fingers are molting. sitting here wondering when the next big thing will happen in my life. it'll come... it'll come... xxx |
 name: joshua chiu age: 28 birthdate: march 26, 1979 height: 6 feet weight: 172.5 lbs. location: san diego, ca loves: God, family, kids, motorcycles, sports, music, deep-meaningful relationships, competition over video games, food - any and all |