|
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
life is so amazing. its complex. its simple. or as some say, its simply a matter of how you look at it. i'm just sitting here at my desk... a long day of work is finished, a night of television has been watched, and sleep is drawing away at my eyes. familiar songs replay themselves. comfortable notes, reassuring words, echo in my brain. funny how every song speaks... maybe not at this time, but definitely some time or another in your lifetime. my lungs draw in breath after breath. the left one hurt again, earlier today... a product of ignorning doctor's orders with 2 days of situps, pushups, and curls. my body is listless. it wants to run... it wants to feel alive. my body is getting fat... evident by a broken chair, broken simply because it was sat on. thoughts are wandering... what is worth living for? love? your dreams? what if your purpose in life isn't what you've dreamed? what do you do then? what if what you want isn't for you? what if you're denied the next round of american idol? do you simply go back to your job and forget about singing? do people give up too easily in life? am i all that i've thought myself to be? am i really a good person? do i really love too deeply? do i give myself too much credit? who am i to myself? does the man in the mirror clearly reflect the man staring in? enough. questions that beg to be answered, but will always evade capture... seemingly understood, only in a moments revelation. i'm twenty-five going on twenty-six. whats next? happiness, is that all we're looking for? or are we only fooling ourselves with other people's lives played out on the glossy screen... was reminded today by a dear friend, to be good to myself. i want that. but i'm still quite unsure as to what being good to oneself means. do i even know what's good? do i even know myself? do i know enough to give whats good to the 'myself' that i'm unsure that i even know? this deep thinking stuff is new to me (ha!)... i think it only confuses me more. i guess 'round and 'round we go... xxx
Comments:
Post a Comment
|
 name: joshua chiu age: 28 birthdate: march 26, 1979 height: 6 feet weight: 172.5 lbs. location: san diego, ca loves: God, family, kids, motorcycles, sports, music, deep-meaningful relationships, competition over video games, food - any and all |