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Saturday, January 29, 2005
so, to follow up on my last post... i didn't have a heart attack, but i did have another spontaneous pneumothorax (lung collapse). i was still feeling the dull ache in my chest area the next day, so i played hookey from work, and went to see a doctor. i told him about my prior lung collapse, so he set about listening to my lungs. "well, your left lung is taking in much less air than your right. i think it happened again!" whoo hoo! an x-ray confirmed this, so it was off to admitting myself to the ER. they gave me something lovely in my IV, i was still conscious, but everything definitely moved much slower. got a chest tube (tube sticking out of my left side)... and was brought up to a room. the room in which i was prisoner for a week and a half. :/ i did end up having surgery last friday. there are these 'blebs' at the top of my lungs, which are somewhat similar to blisters. when they pop, they let air in, causing the lung to collapse. so the doc went in, cut/stapled those up, as a prevention to the lung collapsing again. all i remember is going in to the operation room and them moving me onto the operation table. the anesthesiologist was like, "here's your cocktail!", injecting some stuff into my IV, and next thing i know... i'm being wheeled out of the operating room. you always see this in movies or tv shows... where all you see are the flourescent lights moving above, and then the doctor's head, and then your loved ones heads pop into view. it was EXACTLY like that. (: being in a hospital that long, i can tell you, really really really really sucks. but it did allow for lots of time to think, reflect, and catch old reruns of sitcoms. i watched many an episodes of 'two guys and a girl', finished 2 and a half books, and due to the horribly bland hospital food found myself constantly flipping to the food network. :D the nurses were all awesome too. it was funny, most of them were here in california either from the midwest or the east. they said that there were more nursing opportunities out here... interesting. it was also a new but enjoyable experience using a urinal. i find it much superior to peeing in a toilet. the reasoning behind this is... there is absolutely NO splatter, it is very easily accessable, and i had people empty it for me. haha :P also, not showering for a week and a half brings out... lets just say, natural odors and oils. eeee :/ yes yes, just lots of realizations. before the hospital visit, i would think, "wow, my life is pretty boring, uneventful... its just work, go to gym, eat, sleep, meet up with people occasionally." but in contrast to the hospital... my life is good, its as exciting as i make it out to be, and one that i have most definitely taken for granted. last but not least, i realized that when you're gone or away from your regular life... the people that notice, worry, and wonder if you're ok, are those who are your true friends and family. thank you to all who called with concern or visited me in the hospital. those words or perhaps just the action meant so much and helped my days pass by much faster. you guys are AWESOME! xxx Monday, January 17, 2005 i think i had a mild heart attack about 2 hours ago. today was a heavy lifting day. which meant low reps, high weight. that went fine and without a hitch. then lifting is followed by a 50 minute run. caleb and i decided to run down along blacks beach. maaaan... today was beaauuutiful. talk about a perfect sunset. then it was a sprint back to the ucsd/rimac parking lot to finish the run. right when i got to the car... i just started walking with my hands up on my head. perhaps i shouldn't have stopped so abruptly... but i started feeling chest pains. so i jogged a little... and then it got progressively worse. felt my neck and lower left shoulder tighten up. caleb wanted to take me to thornton hospital... but heck... i was just there... didn't want to pay anymore medical bills. i've taken two bayer aspirins... the tightness has gone away... but i still feel tightness/funkyness when i sit up straight. today would have been a good day to go. i feel i've lived a good 25 years. only thing i would miss out on is having a wife, kids and family. (: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." xxx Saturday, January 15, 2005 so i was dreaming last night that i was taking a dump. lo and behold... i wake up at 5am with a bowel movement. lovely. so i drag myself out of my warm, comforting, 400 thread-count-satin-baby-butt-smooth sheets... so i can sit on a cold ass toilet straining to get a couple of pellets out. GREAT. its funny how dreams work like that tho. i guess its true what they say, "follow your dreams". haha i don't know why i was thinking at 5am sitting on a cold toilet... but i was. i'm sure all of you remember those psychology classes back in high school. i am proud to say that i come from a family of psychologists, and yes, i did get a 5 on my AP psych test. my only 5 for that matter. :( anyways... there is, has, been that debate over nature vs. nurture. people have been really interesting to me lately. i've learned that everyone wants everyone else to be like them. yes, life would definitely be easier, but then there wouldn't be as much drama, right? thats half the fun of it. secondly, i've just been observing people. why do they act the way that they do? why do they make the choices that they make? can it really be their genes - how they are biologically and chemically made up - that causes them to BE who they are? well of course, that plays a part in it, but what about the nurture part? how much of who we are is dictated by our families, our environment, and the other people that surround us? as i said, i come from a family of psychologists. so one could argue... well, your genetics say you should be a psychologist. hmmm... indeed. but then i chose not to head down that path. was that decision due to my environment? my college peers? what exactly influenced that choice? interesting. so yeah, i don't know where i was going with this... but its interesting observing people and wondering, "uh...why?" (: xxx Tuesday, January 11, 2005 
this is a shout out to my friend diane yuen. i heard from a little bird that you are an avid reader of my blog, or many a blogs for that matter! :D hope you're having a good day diane! xxx Monday, January 10, 2005 i've been listening to jimmy eat world's new cd, futures, these past couple of days. the tunes are catchy, and the lyrics seem to personally speak to me. so i thought to myself, 'i like this. this is a great cd.' then this next thought occurred... 'what does it mean to like something'? do we like something simply because it relates to us? because it speaks to us? because ideally it is good or can be? of course these thoughts surfaced in comparison to, say, a real jimmy eat world fan... the real fan being the barometer. now if i were a real fan, and i really liked them... i would know and have all their cd's, know most of their songs by heart, and attend every concert i was able to. so then, what is the difference between someone simply liking the band and a true fan? i would have to say: passion. as with anything, i've come to believe passion is what sets things apart. there are those parents who love their kids, and those that love their kids. there are those who look forward to their daily treks to work, while for others it is simply a means to an end. there are professional athletes (i.e. - kevin garnett, peyton manning) where winning is the only option... where winning is their passion. so what can be concluded from these thoughts? how does this pertain to me, or perhaps to you? i don't want to be wishy-washy in life or the things i want to accomplish. i want to be passionate in as much as i can. i want to exude (def. - to ooze out) passion. i don't want to be known simply as passionate... for passion without direction is madness. but passionate in and for specific things. oy... but there's this thing called life - which includes bills, stress, heartaches and much much more - which from time to time disillusion us. i suppose all we can do is... try? yes, to the best of our abilities. xxx Monday, January 03, 2005 
happy new years everyone! whoo hoo! got my free tv! as you can also tell... my cheeks are chubbier due to holiday food and cheer. i want to give shout-outs (heh - reminds me of high school) to all the people that helped me get this lovely 27-inch sony vega television - adrian, brian chen, my roomie jeff, faustine, cori, peter, et, and vinh - i couldn't have done this without any of you. haha. oh yeah i got a haircut too, if you couldn't tell. on another note, saw this in a friends profile: "All of us, we're on this earth for really such a very short time. Much too short for any of us to be casual with our love." touche. xxx |
 name: joshua chiu age: 28 birthdate: march 26, 1979 height: 6 feet weight: 172.5 lbs. location: san diego, ca loves: God, family, kids, motorcycles, sports, music, deep-meaningful relationships, competition over video games, food - any and all |