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Thursday, March 24, 2005
ganked from jimmy's xanga: The Sweetness of Life Exhibited on Craigslist it's time i learned your name chinese laundry man ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat Mar 05 07:42:27 2005 it's time i learned your name chinese laundry man. it's been four years now since i first handed my dirty undies over to a total stranger. at first i was nervous. would you laugh and hold up my size AAA bras for others to see? would you take a sniff or notice that i had my period? i couldn't make eye contact for the first 6 months, but that was ok. you greeted me with a big smile and a shout of " Pau-Pau" each week. It took me two years to figure out you were saying "purple", the color of my bag. Soon this became both of our names, "Purple" i would shout each week and "Pau-Pau" you always reply. And not just once, no this was an entire conversation to be repeated several times a visit. Our pet name has grown on me. Hell, the color of my bag hasn't even mattered for the last 3 years as i always go behind the counter to retrieve it myself. yet, it's nice to be known and remembered and appreciated after someone has so intimately 'dealt' with the soiled and stained evidence of my life. Do you know, chinese laundry man, how hard it was to find another purple laundry bag once the first one wore out? Did you know that they discontinued purple laundry bags in the entire tri-state area just before 2002? I had to fly home half way across the country to secure our term of endearment. but it was worth it just to exchange that precious two-syllable word with you. you've never once jeered or leered or snickered at me regardless of the profane mysteries i brought to you in my purple bag. do you remeber that time my tortoise crapped all over my towels? do you even know that i have a tortoise? i wanted to tell you so badly what it was, and that 'i' don't crap on my towels, but then what if i thought you didn't believe me? what if you didn't understand what i was saying and we ended up miming out the whole god-damn tortoise towel crap scene? i didn't want to become "Pau-Pau with the crap towels". at least not in english. you can call me that in chinese though- i bet it sounds cool. we have a great relationship chinese laundry man. you never yell at me (like your assistants do in your absence) when i don't bring in my dry cleaning ticket. in fact, you act as though you LOVE spinning the 12 miles of hanging clothes around in jerky start/stop fashion as i ponder, "that looks like a pair of pants i might have bought", "can you take the plastic off so i can see the size of that shirt?" "yeah, you're right i guess that black dress is mine if it's been here for 3 months" "wait, no- my suit is more of a sea green than an emerald-forrest green". i always apologize and offer to let a few of the people in the long line behind me go next but you just say "no no Pau-Pau, it's ok ok, Pau-Pau ok". the thing is though, it's starting to sound a bit racist referring to you all the time as chinese laundry man. it's time i knew your name. or at least the adjusted version for english speakers. maybe it's "hae-men-che" but people just call you "howie"? you may have to write it down for me. i'm tired of leaving the "To:" section of your christmas and chinese new year's cards blank when i bring you holiday cookies hot from my kitchen. not to mention, my baking skills are improving and maybe one day i'd like to write your name in icing? two years ago i almost got up the nerve to ask you your name. but as usually, something had to happen. this time, i had a new boyfriend. i was sure that you knew because his hair was always in the sheets and it was quite a contrast in color to my own. we made it through this before, when i was dating the blonde, but it just didn't feel right to ask you your name, not to mention my returned difficulty with the eye contact thing again. but the day has come and i'm going to do it, damn it. it's the year of the rooster, or is it bull? well, whatever, it's the year to learn your name- that's what i mean. i'm going to buy some really fancy chopsticks, put a purple ribbon on them and ask you your name. xxx Wednesday, March 23, 2005 some new personal revelations i'd like to share: - "if you're not happy single, you're not gonna be happy married." - mom - i shouldn't dwell on the things i want but don't have, but instead, i need to focus all my time, energy, passion into the things that i do have: job, health, family, friends, motorcycles. - keep on believing the best in people - keep on believing that something good will happen to you - keep on believing that everything has its own time and place in your life - don't allow things and circumstance to change you into someone you're not - empower yourself, rather than wait for someone to empower you xxx Saturday, March 19, 2005 you know those nights when you just leave your winamp on, and every song seems to fit the moment? tonight was one of those nights. music was pumpin' as i did my tax returns. joy. here was my playlist for the night: dragon ash - under age's song jason mraz - sleeping to dream one voice - always on my mind candlebox - far behind houston - i like that frank sinatra - my valentine r. kelly, celine dion - i'm your angel michael buble - home bowling for soup - 1985 yoo seung jun and yuki - can't wait all together separate - paradigm chris tomlin - not to us incubus - i miss you jagged edge - promise goo goo dolls - black balloon daniel beddingfield - gotta get thru this lionel richie - angel samantha mumba - baby come on over xxx Friday, March 18, 2005 blah, blah, blah everyone likes to talk about themselves. you can't deny it. thats why when i cold call someone, i try to ask questions that will get them to talk about themselves, their kids, their job, their hobbies, etc. but then again, there are those people who simply like to talk about themselves just to hear their own voice. you may not even have to ask them anything, and they will tell you their life story all the same. haha :) some people don't understand that a conversation is two-fold... both parties need to ask and respond to the other for said parties to feel invested or somewhat included in the conversation. if this is not done, usually one side has no desire to continue in said conversation. i don't know if it is simply a matter of selfishness, how someone was raised, or how they were taught to communicate. i think everyone should exercise sensitivity and caution in this matter, because in the end, everyone wants to be liked too. xxx Tuesday, March 15, 2005 "remember wilson from that tom hanks movie castaway? they say that there are five basic elements that humans need for survival: food, water, shelter, fire and companionship. the first four basic elements meet our physical needs, it's the fifth that satiates our psychological, emotional, spiritual needs. that's the greatest challenge of our lives, to fill that fifth human need. like being stranded on an island, we don't truly appreciate companionship until we realize it's gone. we're so preoccupied with trying to get the first four, trying to 'survive' that we overlook the fifth. working 9 hour days, eating, and sleeping take up most of our lives. but inbetween 'surviving' we need to start 'living'. some don't discover this until their twilight years but in the end we all understand the truth that lonliness is the greatest human tragedy. it's important to realize that companionship comes in more forms than a lover. there are also friends and family and heroes. we need to surround ourselves with people that inspire us, love us, listen to us. any kind of contact helps, be it a picture, a phonecall or a hug." spurned on by my buddy vinh's words, i want to elaborate a little further. i believe its not simply companionship that we need, but intimacy. i realized this even moreso after going home this past weekend. home gives me a warm-oh-man-i'm-so-full-i-don't-ever-want-to-leave feeling because it is just that, a place of intimacy. the people who are your family know you, love you, been through the good and bad times with you, and ultimately accept you even with all your faults. i remember in my "earlier years" (i am now currently on the downhill path, especially since i will be officially entering my late twenties the end of this month) when i took my family, and the intimacy offered, for granted. i believe, no... i know now, it is what everyone wants, whether they know it or not. may it be in their circle of friends, or that boyfriend/girlfriend... everyone is searching for people who will love them, know them, see them, and accept them just as they are. "maybe that's all family really is - a group of people who miss the same imaginary place." - andrew largeman, garden state i hope that a couple of years down the line i will have a family to call my own... but until then, i'm just seeking to find a group of people to miss the same imaginary place with. xxx Sunday, March 13, 2005 yesterday was my grandma's funeral. it was a sad time for my entire family... but it turned out to be more of a celebration - a celebration of the person that she was, and how her life instilled so much exuberance and character into ours. it has been a while since i've been home... and it has been good. whenever i come home, i forget about all my responsibilities, my heartaches, the stresses of life. it is a place where i can freely love, and an abundance of love is offered as well. i like it. (: i thought i'd leave you with this. its been in the bathroom of our last 3 houses... i was just taking a dump and staring at it. so here it is. :D life's little instructions sing in the shower. treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated. watch a sunrise at least once a year. leave the toilet seat in the down position. never refuse homemade brownies. strive for excellence, not perfection. plant a tree on your birthday. learn three clean jokes. return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full. compliment three people every day. never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them. leave everything a little better than you found it. keep it simple. think big thoughts but relish small pleasures. become the most positive and entusiastic person you know. floss your teeth. ask for a raise when you feel you've earned it. be forgiving of yourself and others. overtip breakfast waitresses. say "thank you" a lot. say "please" a lot. avoid negative people. buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards. wear polished shoes. remember other people's birthdays. commit yourself to constant improvement. carry jumper cables in your trunk. have a firm handshake. send lots of valentine cards; sign them, "someone who thinks you're terrific." look people in the eye. be the first to say, "hello". use the good silver. return all things you borrow. make new friends but cherish the old ones. keep secrets. sing in a choir. plant flowers every spring. have a dog. always accept an outstretched hand. stop blaming others; take responsibility for every area of your life. wave at kids on school buses. be there when people need you. feed a stranger's expired parking meter. don't expect life to be fair. never underestimate the power of love. drink champagne for no reason at all. live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation. don't be afraid to say, "i made a mistake". don't be afraid to say, "i don't know". compliment even small improvements. keep your promises (no matter what). marry only for love. rekindle old friendships. count your blessings. call your mother xxx Wednesday, March 09, 2005 have you ever hurt someone so deeply that its changed who they are... the essence of their being? i have. i just realized this tonight. i feel like the drunk driver that killed a mother's only son. nothing i can say, nothing i can do, can bring her son back. even if i am ever forgiven, i will never forgive myself. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry... words that can never convey enough to heal an open wound. i'm not all that i've made myself to be. i'm a horrible person, and my heart is heavy because of it. xxx Monday, March 07, 2005  i feel drained, emotionally. which affects the physical. my grandma, on my mom's side, passed away this past saturday. you always envision how you'll handle this sort of news... but in the thick of it, everything was so surreal. i remember getting the call from my sister, and at that instant... everything outside of me and that phone call just became a blur. i didn't know how to feel at that moment in time. it was a mixture of numbness and disbelief... and i kept repeating in my head, over and over again, 'ah-bo is gone'. the realness of her being gone felt cemented the moment that i said, 'my grandma just passed away'. i regret that in the last couple of years i haven't been able to visit or spend much time with her. the last time i saw her was december - we all visited and played mahjong with her. she was in good spirits, and her mind seemed to be alzhemier-less as she fingered the mahjong tiles with familiarity. she loved me deeply. she changed almost all my diapers when i was a baby. she always told me i was her favorite. and her wish was to at least live to see both nia and i get married. i'm sorry ah-bo. i love you and i miss you. xxx Thursday, March 03, 2005 to date... i have had over 20,000 visitors to my humble little webpage! soooo... if you were, are, will be one of those that continue to visit, please do leave a comment and let me know who you are! been busy lately... haven't had time to think, so nothing new. (: i should have something for you after this weekend. :D xxx Tuesday, March 01, 2005  i am di-pee head. xxx |
 name: joshua chiu age: 28 birthdate: march 26, 1979 height: 6 feet weight: 172.5 lbs. location: san diego, ca loves: God, family, kids, motorcycles, sports, music, deep-meaningful relationships, competition over video games, food - any and all |