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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
 movies are great. they allow for you to escape and forget the world... if only for an hour or two, or more... if you're watching an epic. (: but they're also great in that they reaffirm our hopes and dreams, or they allow us to become the hero that we could never be, or the lover that we fall short as. a good movie can inspire you... move you to make a change... make you cry even though you hardly ever cry. a movie is like a good dream... only more vivid, with splashes of color and sound, and one that you can watch over and over again. with the spare time i have on hand, i watch a lot of movies. today, 'cheaper by the dozen' was the current blockbuster fare that i received through the mail. as i was at my sister's place over the weekend... i kind of got the feeling of 'no, i don't really want kids too soon'... feeling the tiredness from the constant attention needed by zoe and ian. yet, as i was watching this movie, seeing the interaction of the kids and who their parents were to them... i was moved. no, i DO want kids. i want a boat load of them! there's nothing more satisfying than deep relationships and family. that is what i truly want. that is what i am truly passionate for. yes, family members may have their differences... yes, they have their falling outs... yes, some may grow to become different people from which they were expected to become. yet at the end of all of that... family is still family. you never lose each other, whether you choose to or not. i don't care much for a career... just enough to support a family. i don't have much drive to earn lots of money. i don't need to drive the nicest car or own the biggest house (tho it would be nice!). i guess what i really want is to love and be loved in return. who doesn't? isn't it funny to know what you want, but not be able to have it? i think most of the time we wander around doing or getting things that we don't necessarily want to do/have, yet they're available to us. i believe that loving and being loved in return is the essence of "family". whether its a real family or a group that you call "family", it can be had. yes... this is what i'm looking for, this is what i want. obviously i can't have my own family to love right now... but here's to hoping *wink*, along with another good movie in the mail. :D xxx Tuesday, November 15, 2005 sunlight streaming through my window. clear cloudless blue sky. 85 degrees of san diego warmth. accelerating onto the onramp... 1st, 2nd, 3rd 4th 5th 6th gear, and feeling the front end of the bike lift slightly, then come back down to earth. the smiles and kind words of the ladies at my orthodontic office. the love that bonds mother to child, one to another. the satisfaction of being full. the way the setting sun glistens onto my desk. words from a book, that turn into stories spurred on by my imagination. music that soothes the soul and makes everything alright. streaming clear warmth. accelerating. smiles. love. satisfaction, glistens. imagination... soothes. simple things that have made my day. why do i want more? why isn't this enough? what is there to complicate? xxx Friday, November 11, 2005 after finally leaving los angeles at 4:45am, caleb and i arrived in milpitas at my sister nia's place at 9am. it wasn't too bad on my end, just fitful sleep with lots going through my head. caleb had initially left san diego at 12, only to get pulled over, then realizing he didn't have his wallet, made the back-trek back to san diego to retrieve it. zoe was still in a sleepy mood when we arrived, so she was still in her pj's and lounging on the couch. caleb immediately went to bed while zoe and i read a couple of books. nia asked, "zoe, are you glad your jo-jo's are here for your birthday party?" zoe replied, "you guys are like bears, you guys always sleep so much!" haha. this is true, especially to her, since whenever we drive up it seems to be at odd and late hours of the night/morning. i've been in LA for the past month or so. it was good just recouperating and meeting up with some old friends. swan, thanks so much for taking good care of me. (: going to be back in SD after this weekend. change. its happening again. xxx Monday, November 07, 2005 still recovering, but this routine is getting boring! anyways... looking forward to going home for zoe's 4th birthday (yeah, can you believe it? they grow up so quick)... and then hawaii in december. also, uploaded some new pictures to my jusspress. ch-ch-che-che-ch-che-check it out! anyways, this was interesting. how much is YOUR blog worth?
xxx Wednesday, November 02, 2005 hello all. i haven't been up to much. just been trying to recover... taking it a day at a time, not rushing anything. i can finally sleep on my left side without any pain or discomfort. i still have trouble sleeping at night because i get these hot sweats. i feel like i'm a woman going through menopause. ;\ during the day, i check email, chat, go on my motorcycle forums, watch nip/tuck, walk donut the dog, and almost daily i take a nap. i don't forsee myself going back to work until the beginning of next year. finances are tight, but i have just enough to cover to the end of the year. i know i will be taken care of, so i'm not particularly worried. on a happy and congratulatory note, my sister is pregnant again! with her third! how exciting. i wonder what they'll name him/her. current daily thoughts: love, relationship dynamics, career, future, how to get fatter, how to be a better person, how people are different from me but not being able to figure out why. xxx |
 name: joshua chiu age: 28 birthdate: march 26, 1979 height: 6 feet weight: 172.5 lbs. location: san diego, ca loves: God, family, kids, motorcycles, sports, music, deep-meaningful relationships, competition over video games, food - any and all |
